Nagging is My Specialty - 01/15/2024
For earlier Food for Thought entries, please go to
the Food for Thought Archive.
New Year's greetings, everyone! Now that the blur of the holidays is clearing up and we've all written our thank-you notes (we have, right?), I want to make an early pitch for getting our planning houses in order while we're stuck with these dark days and nights, and before we all get back out in the yard with rake and mower.
I made this pitch the last time during the early days of the pandemic - which was now almost 4 years ago! - so while I won't belabor my message, anything worth saying is worth repeating. Here goes: If your documents are more than 10 years old, your durable powers of attorney and health care directives are getting as stale as that fruit cake it's time to put out for the birds and squirrels. And if those documents are so ancient that they don't include current phone numbers for your health care agents (how are your medical personnel going to reach them in an emergency?) or if your powers of attorney name agents no longer capable of making even their own decisions, how are those documents going to do you any good at all?
As for wills and trusts, probate avoidance is still as important as it was 4 years ago. The courts still haven't caught up with their Covid-era backlogs and who wants to wait for their permission to sell a car anyhow. So, make a list of your current assets and determine what would happen with each of them if the worst should happen to you. The basic rule of thumb is that any asset just in your own name - without a joint owner or without a current beneficiary designated - is going to need about a year's worth of probate to get to the right person, unless you take some corrective action in the meantime. Also, if those executors and trustees aren't really the right choices any longer, it's time to hit "refresh" and put the best current choices in place.
Just a few more suggestions, based on the issues we're dealing with: If you have a safe deposit box, don't put documents or items in it that will need to be consulted soon after you're gone, and make sure you leave your families with a list of what's in there. If your last wishes are locked away in a bank vault, they won't be accessible until long after they've become moot. And if no one knows what's in the box, it may be necessary to get probate approval just to open it - only to find that there's nothing there at all. We've had that experience more than once and it's a total waste of time and money.
Also, if you're making arrangements in your documents that might be taken the wrong way by your children or other family members - like who you're naming as your agents for different purposes, or why you're leaving unequal shares to them - it's a good idea to leave a letter or other written explanation for those decisions, so as not to create the wrong impression. You don't want anyone to feel that you didn't trust them or didn't love them as much as others, without understanding the rationale for your choices. Maybe it's because someone lives more conveniently or has more time to deal with your affairs, or maybe it's just because one of your offspring needs more help than another. Just don't leave them to guess about your motives and perhaps come to hurtful conclusions.
Keep in mind, too, that you're not doing anyone a service by naming multiple agents, just to have everyone feel you're treating them fairly, if they really aren't going to be able to work well and cooperatively together. We see that all the time and it can lead even to court action, if not to destroying family relationships, which is unlikely to be the result you were hoping for. And you're surely in the best position to know whether you're making the right choices or setting things up for WW3.
Finally, there's just no good reason to procrastinate. People's health can change overnight, either due to medical or accidental causes, and once the window for making new arrangements has closed, the options for getting the right moves made and plans in place can be severely limited. We just never know about the future - or our planning decisions would be a lot simpler and easier.
I made this pitch the last time during the early days of the pandemic - which was now almost 4 years ago! - so while I won't belabor my message, anything worth saying is worth repeating. Here goes: If your documents are more than 10 years old, your durable powers of attorney and health care directives are getting as stale as that fruit cake it's time to put out for the birds and squirrels. And if those documents are so ancient that they don't include current phone numbers for your health care agents (how are your medical personnel going to reach them in an emergency?) or if your powers of attorney name agents no longer capable of making even their own decisions, how are those documents going to do you any good at all?
As for wills and trusts, probate avoidance is still as important as it was 4 years ago. The courts still haven't caught up with their Covid-era backlogs and who wants to wait for their permission to sell a car anyhow. So, make a list of your current assets and determine what would happen with each of them if the worst should happen to you. The basic rule of thumb is that any asset just in your own name - without a joint owner or without a current beneficiary designated - is going to need about a year's worth of probate to get to the right person, unless you take some corrective action in the meantime. Also, if those executors and trustees aren't really the right choices any longer, it's time to hit "refresh" and put the best current choices in place.
Just a few more suggestions, based on the issues we're dealing with: If you have a safe deposit box, don't put documents or items in it that will need to be consulted soon after you're gone, and make sure you leave your families with a list of what's in there. If your last wishes are locked away in a bank vault, they won't be accessible until long after they've become moot. And if no one knows what's in the box, it may be necessary to get probate approval just to open it - only to find that there's nothing there at all. We've had that experience more than once and it's a total waste of time and money.
Also, if you're making arrangements in your documents that might be taken the wrong way by your children or other family members - like who you're naming as your agents for different purposes, or why you're leaving unequal shares to them - it's a good idea to leave a letter or other written explanation for those decisions, so as not to create the wrong impression. You don't want anyone to feel that you didn't trust them or didn't love them as much as others, without understanding the rationale for your choices. Maybe it's because someone lives more conveniently or has more time to deal with your affairs, or maybe it's just because one of your offspring needs more help than another. Just don't leave them to guess about your motives and perhaps come to hurtful conclusions.
Keep in mind, too, that you're not doing anyone a service by naming multiple agents, just to have everyone feel you're treating them fairly, if they really aren't going to be able to work well and cooperatively together. We see that all the time and it can lead even to court action, if not to destroying family relationships, which is unlikely to be the result you were hoping for. And you're surely in the best position to know whether you're making the right choices or setting things up for WW3.
Finally, there's just no good reason to procrastinate. People's health can change overnight, either due to medical or accidental causes, and once the window for making new arrangements has closed, the options for getting the right moves made and plans in place can be severely limited. We just never know about the future - or our planning decisions would be a lot simpler and easier.